Human First

Every year I try to think of a phrase or a couple of words that act as an intention for my year. Last year was “Make Meaningful Work”. I’m proud to say that I did that last year! I kept that in mind as I wrote a feature length script with my writing partner and as we forged a working relationship. I held onto that phrase as I grew my wedding photography business and went through a major rebrand. I looked to that intention as I came up against the insecurity of talking about my relationship on national TV with Showtime’s Couple’s Therapy- when I would feel doubt about the choice I made to participate, I would remember that it was “meaningful work” and it was in line with my vision for the year.

This year it’s “Human First”. In the last six months or so, since our vacation to Greece, I have been taking inventory on what I need to shift within my routine, my mindset, my work/life “balance” in order to be more in line with my values. I’ve been doing the unseen, underbelly work of uncoupling my self worth with my productivity. Through conversations with friends and people I respect, I’ve learned how capitalism perpetuates this link between self-worth and productivity and how we get caught up in the constant hustle of trying to do more and be better and get noticed and grow the following and sharpen our brand etc.

It’s exhausting. I know because I’ve bought into that messaging for my whole life. I thought if I just hustled harder someone would notice my work ethic and… what? Give me my dream job? Open a door for me? But that’s not how it works, as it turns out. I don’t claim to know how it works, to be completely honest and I’m not about to start guessing. So my goal this year is to continue the hustle, but with the added perspective of holding myself accountable to my own humanity. My goal is that in everything that I do, I come from a thoughtful, rested, intentional place. And I can’t quite do that when I’m not putting my needs, my humanity, first.

A good friend, who is an actor and writer and just all around brilliant human being, shared that she experiences creative waves, like a cycle. There are years where she makes lots of work and is in the flow and it’s all pouring out of her. And there are years where she needs to retreat and just be a human. That resonates with me so deeply. I am working on letting go of the enormous pressure to continue CREATING all the time. I’m coming off of a cycle/wave of output and it is perfectly acceptable for me to take a breath and refill the tank and also take some time to appreciate the work I’ve done!

We can’t expect ourselves to constantly outpour creatively. We are not robots. We have to be fed physically, emotionally and creatively. I might be coming upon a season of needing to pause and consume, to rest and reflect.

I feel grateful to have the opportunity to learn these lessons and make these shifts. Thanks for joining me on the journey.

The be.come project

This week’s Muse is…the be.come project.
The be.come project is a body-neutral, self-loving approach to boutique fitness. 

The founder of be.come, Bethany C Myers, is an American fitness and lifestyle entrepreneur, and is non-binary like myself. I absolutely love their accessible and inclusive approach to fitness, which is increasingly difficult to find in an image-obsessed world.

Movement has such a deep connection to, and is really necessary in helping us move through trauma. That’s why focusing on and carving out space in my life for physical activity is so important.

I was always physically active. I played three sports in high school. Reluctantly at first, but by the end of high school I was Varsity level volleyball player, a water polo goalie, and a competitive swimmer. Although I’ve always maintained some sort of physical activity throughout my life, it was never rooted in health so much as the desire to be “attractive.” I also used to consider my body solely something that got me where I needed to go, a hunk of meat I carried around.  I wasn’t until the past couple of years that I’ve learned what it means to truly be in my body.

Witnessing so much social media awareness around body positivity, dismantling white supremacist views, and patriarchal beauty standards, has helped me to start breaking down what “attractive” to me even means. I decided to get honest with myself about my workout goals. Were they supporting these unhealthy ideals? Yes. Was I being influenced by a sick culture?  Yes. Was I upholding beauty standards that are fundamentally against my own values?  Yes.

I didn’t want to continue working out for the wrong reasons. I needed to find new reasons that aligned with my belief that people are inherently beautiful exactly as they are- that I am inherently beautiful exactly as I am.

Enter the be.come project.

A good friend sent me to their Instagram. The body-neutral language, the non-binary instructor, it being a grassroots movement- I was instantly pulled in. I was witnessing an LGBTQTAI+ activist starting a ‘let’s respect for our bodies’ fitness program.

Hello, sign me up!

After my first routine, I was hooked. The choreography is simple enough to get the hang of quickly, but complex enough that I noticed a big difference when I did the routine several times a week. I found my body moving through the routine with ease. I was feeling connected, engaged, and excited to work out. And I was having fun! 

I now find myself obsessively waiting for the post-routine tutorial to come out every week.(a tutorial by Bethany with an in-depth look at the trickier poses from the routine is posted every week as a direct response to any questions that be.come clients submit via Instagram.) I am looking forward to my workouts. (I literally call them, “time to hang with Bethany.”) Not to mention I’ve gained a couple pounds of muscle, I’m able to hold onto my feet and stretch my hamstrings now, and the mood check-ins help me to stay mindful about my physical self and also remind me how much working out improves my mood and sense of well being. 

I really appreciate how accessible Bethany aims to make the program, and how inclusive the language is throughout the routines and all throughout their community. It’s a beautiful thing to be a part of and witness.

You can learn more about be.come via the website below. And if you join and are digging it, let me know on insta: @SamGuilbeaux. I always love hearing about a good body neutral badass workout journey!

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Muses and Musings blog content contains Sam Guilbeaux’s personal opinions and is not affiliated with any business or sponsorship. Any connection otherwise will be clearly noted.

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Lena Waithe

This week’s Muse is… Lena Waithe

Lena is a screenwriter, producer, and actress and all around badass artist. She’s also a total queer style icon. I’ve been following her career since it rocket-launched after Master of None. She seems so grounded and purposeful, and it’s been a true pleasure to watch her come into prominence and bring her values into mainstream consciousness.

I connect with Lena’s way of approaching film and the urgency of art, and watching her latest interview on Trevor Noah really resonated with me. It strikes me that this is a person who knows what she is creating and understands the importance of her own work. If she’s ever struggled with imposter syndrome (who hasn’t?) it seems there’s no sign of it now. She exudes confident and radiance, and eloquently speaks with a quiet authority and a presence that seems to convey an, “I’m here because I worked hard, paid my dues and I figured out what it is I want to say to the world on this platform,” attitude.

To me, she represents the epitome of what I’m working tirelessly to obtain.I deeply connect with Lena’s message about an artist’s duty to reflect the times by making their personal stories accessible.

Lena talks to Trevor about diving into uncomfortable narratives as a matter of life and death.

“If I can humanize Black people enough, maybe they’ll stop killing us.”

Stories humanize. Stories help us empathize with experiences outside of our own. And stories can literally save lives by raising the consciousness and encouraging empathy. As I’m cultivating these skills within my own storytelling practice, these principles are my North Star.

I grew up in a home with a lot of gaslighting and dehumanizing behavior. My parents, and I think a lot of their generation, believed in ruling with an iron fist. I was often reminded that our home was under Totalitarian rule and I’d be better off to not forget it.

Truth Telling wasn’t exactly a value that we shared in my family growing up. Truth is complicated, layered, and messy. When you start asking questions to get to the Truth, things are bound to get uncomfortable because Truth requires self-reflection and honesty from within first and foremost.

It’s taken me a long time to get to a place where I feel safe and free to have a voice, and to come to terms with my calling which is: to tell the Truth, to be a storyteller that raises my voice and the voices of others, and to be a creative being that speaks truth to power.

 It is delightful to find that Lena and I share a common goal: to tell intersectional identity stories in order to humanize, normalize and increase visibility and awareness.

There are so many stories we’ve never seen on screen that desperately need to be seen.  I am deeply thankful to so many of the show creators and writers out there who are shifting are cultural consciousness.

I remember when Brokeback Mountain was on everyone’s lips. It was revolutionary to see a gay relationship on the big screen (even though -ugh straight actors-sigh-2005). I also think a lot about Transparent, and Jill Soloway’s work on queer community visibility. Work in Progress, South Side, and Atlanta are also all shows that have opened society’s eyes to the way that marginalized folks live and experience the world.

I aspire to be grouped in with all of these folks one day.

Oh and I also I also have to mention that Lena now knows a good deal about my personal story due to watching Showtime’s Couples Therapy, a documentary show that featured my wife Lauren and I.
It was important for us to represent on that show, and it totally blew me away when Lena tweeted about it.

I am so moved by Lena’s courage and her beautiful Spirit and grateful I’m an artist today who gets to witness her breaking down barriers and paving the way for generations of storytellers like myself.

You can check out her full interview here:

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Muses and Musings blog content contains Sam Guilbeaux’s personal opinions and is not affiliated with any business or sponsorship. Any connection otherwise will be clearly noted.

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